Former ESPNers Parker and Broussard to Join Fox News

 NEW YORK, NY—In their continued commitment to diversity, the News Corp. executives at Fox News are developing a new show for former ESPN reporters Rob Parker and Chris Broussard. After attracting negative attention following their comments about Robert Griffin III and Jason Collins, respectively, Parker and Broussard plan to co-anchor Cornballs from Hell, a nightly series that tackles the impact of sports on society.

“The liberal media can’t hide the truth anymore. There are cornball brothers out there, and they need to come out of the closet,” said one producer of Cornballs. “Gays, on the other hand, need to stay in. That’s God’s will for them.”

Ever seen Chris Broussard and Reverend X in the same place at the same time?
Ever seen Chris Broussard and Reverend X in the same place at the same time?

Cornballs execs are determined to create a show that confronts issues only before discussed on HBO’s Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel. “We actually approached Bryant with this show idea years ago, but he turned out to be blacker than we’d originally thought,” the News Corp Director of Diversity said. “You never know with those people sometimes, I guess.”

Other Fox News hosts seem to be excited about the acquisition of Parker and Broussard. “Bigotry is always best when it comes from the unthreatening blacks. Finally we got some flavor around this place,” said a Fox & Friends host, who requested to go unnamed after the comment fell out of his mouth.

Considering how polarizing Parker and Broussard became the instant their opinions leaked into their reporting, Fox News stands to earn high ratings when the Cornballs from Hell premieres this summer. The office of News Corp CEO Rupert Murdoch released a statement expressing their excitement: “Bizarre prejudice is our bread and butter. We happily welcome Rob and Chris to the team. Along with Juan Williams, we now have our own ‘Big 3’… a…beautiful…big…black…3.”

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