Kim Jong-un to Hip-Hop Fans: You Betta Lecognize!

PYONGYANG—Recently assumed Supreme Leader of North Korea Kim Jong-un has already begun to apply next-generation sensibilities to strengthening the socialist regime that his father Kim Jong-il built for decades. Kim Jong-un’s rumored taste for urban culture has been confirmed by the announcement of his upcoming hip-hop album, performing under the name Lil’ Jong and Da Northside Boyz. The suspicion among world leaders is that Kim Jong-un’s foray into music doubles as a way to fund North Korea’s ongoing nuclear weapons program, but music fans are more intrigued with whether the Supreme Leader is on the level.

Producers have wisely advised Kim Jong-Un to leave his cover of "Make It Clap" off the album.

Industry executives all over the world have tried to contact Kim Jong-un about acquiring the most controversial music project of the millennium to no avail. However, Kim Jong-un has been teasing the world with what to expect from the new album, Iller Than Il. Mixtapes throughout Asia already have snippets from his songs like the funk-infused “I’ll Drop the Bomb on You (Baby),” a Grandmaster Melle Mel tribute called “White Lies,” the soldier anthem “Make ‘em Say Unnnn,” as well as socialist club jams “No Money, No Problems” and “Nuthin But A Workers’ Party.”

To complete Kim Jong-un’s hip-hop persona, his twitter account (@DereCanOnlyBeUn) has been updated hourly with messages like, “Niggaz out here think I dont got barz. Keep sleepin and catch #hotfiya” as well as “N da studio wit Paddy Manaj. Bitch iz a beast, beliedat #UnMoney4Life.”

The release date for Iller Than Il is still unknown, but iTunes will face a moral dilemma when the time comes. With a record that stands to sell billions of copies worldwide, Apple must decide whether they want to profit from capitalist culture used to destroy capitalism. WWSJD indeed.

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