WASHINGTON, D.C.—On the day that the producers of the hit sitcom Two And A Half Men stripped costar Charlie Sheen of his role on the show, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration recognized Sheen’s role in their discovery of life in outer space.
NASA has announced that they will present an On-The-Spot Award to Sheen for ‘going the extra mile’ by calling himself a ‘rock star from Mars.’ “Without his antics,” one NASA official said, “who knows who long we would have waited for a breakthrough like this?”
On Saturday night, NASA’s Mars rover ‘Opportunity’ collected and relayed a message that sent from an intelligent Martian life form. Expert translators have deciphered that the message is from a Martian musician named Cormblohrr, who has been keeping tabs on the Charlie Sheen media storm—including Sheen’s “rock star” claim—and felt the need to share his thoughts about it with the people of Earth.
“As an actual rock star from Mars,” Cormblohrr said, “I must say that the way [Charlie] has been living in no way represents how Martian rock stars really live. That guy is absolutely off his brooplahk.”
Cormblohrr went on to comment on Earth’s chances of someday colonizing Mars: “The rest of the band thought I was taking a huge risk, compromising the mystery of our planet for something so trivial. But I assured them, what with all the time you Earthlings spend paying attention to such nonsense instead of trying not to destroy each other, our way of life is in no danger from the likes of Earth.”
When NASA asked Cormblohrr if he (?) would be tuning in to the awards ceremony, Cormblohrr said, “Sure, why not. Charlie’s nuts, but he’s right about one thing: winning is awesome.”
Most importantly, the Charlie Sheen On-The-Spot Award Presentation will air live this Wednesday at 6pm Eastern on CBS, Fox, NBC, ABC, CNN, MSNBC, VH1, MTV2, the YES Network, the CW, Al-Jazeera and BET.