LONDON, UK—The small screen exchange between the United States and Great Britain has come to an end. The British Commission of Film and Television has issued an official moratorium on American remakes of British television program(me)s.
Despite the popularity of shows like NBC’s The Office, the BCFT has decided to shut the doors on trans-Atlantic re-visioning of their original series.
“Preservation is vital here,” said Colm Butterbee, spokesperson for the BCFT. “While we are flattered that American audiences have embraced the work that the UK originates, we have decided to maintain the cultural integrity that American television so eagerly and opportunistically compromises.”
When approached for a response to this obvious dig at America, almost every TV executive refused to comment, citing that they were busy trying to find a new way to save their jobs without taking any risks.
However, one studio office clerk (who asked to remain anonymous), hopes that this change will be a good thing for American talent. “The suits struck gold bringing Skins, Shameless, and Being Human over here,” he said between cigarette drags. “But, like, maybe now [execs] will greenlight some original scripts for a change. It’s not like I’m in the mailroom because I LIKE being poor.”
The future of American television may be in peril, however, if this dearth of interesting content results in more reality TV. The impact of this British moratorium will not be determined until shows like Eastern Shore and 15 and Hookin’ hit the airwaves and confirm that American TV execs could not care less about quality entertainment.
As for Butterbee, he cares more about protecting homespun entertainment than the decline of American society through television. “We need to keep Brits just as accountable in the days ahead, when selling the rights to Doctor Who would be an act of treason, and producing it [in America] an act of war.”