WASHINGTON, D.C.—Anti-Obama rage shifted in the direction of the First Lady this week, as a group of middle-aged women stood by the gates of the White House in protest of an alleged change to the national holiday calendar. The negative chants against Michelle Obama were in response to a recent statement that women should celebrate Mother’s Day on the day (or days) that they actually gave birth.
“The birthdays of our children should be celebrations for mothers, too, because childbirth is a miracle that every man, woman and child should be proud of,” Obama stated in her brief television spot.
Ironically, this statement sent some conservative women into a frenzy, citing Obama’s declaration as another example of the government meddling where they don’t belong. Homily Newton, President of Women Against Obama (WAO), said, “The Obamas have been trying to put their dirty hands into everything Americans do, stealing our freedom from under our noses. And now here they’re trying to tell us when we can celebrate holidays? I don’t know about you, but that’s not even Christian! It’s downright Communism, all over again!”
First Lady Obama refused to publicly defend her statement, but she did share her opinion of the response on her Twitter Account: “I’m not sure how giving mothers more opportunities to celebrate motherhood is Communist, but stranger conclusions have been made by conservatives.”
When asked how long these protests would continue, Newton said, “As long as those people are in the White House, we are going to be here protecting our freedom. If we want to celebrate Mother’s Day one day out of the year, it’s our right. And no one can take that away from us. Michele should take her husband and kids back to the motherland where they came from if they want to control Mother’s Day.” Newton’s mini-speech received deafening cheers from her twelve-woman collective.
Based on the mobile home they arrived in, and the number of teeth the were missing, it looked like WAO had nowhere else to be. But when Julia Bildabere, Treasurer of WAO, announced that they had run out of Mountain Dew, the entire group piled into their RV and sped off as if the protest had never happened. Whether they’ll return is uncertain, but the entire mess could have been resolved if they had access to Twitter.