Rap Album to Refresh GOP, Squashed Beef

Steele: "Thought I was done, America? I'm just getting started."

Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele may have found a way to outdo all of the questionable comments and actions that have flooded the news during his tenure: he’s recorded a rap album. “HNIC of da RNC” is the name of the project that Michael Steele called “a no-brainer” when it comes to engaging young Americans about the benefits of conservative values.

Some of the songs have already been leaked to the media to “create a buzz,” says Steele, who refers to himself as M. Stizzle and Mikey Steez throughout the tracks. By analyzing the song titles, it is apparent that many of the songs derive from popular songs of old, an example being “(You Down With) G.O.P.”

In an interview with Sean Hannity, Michael Steele expressed his confidence regarding the album:

“You know, dog, the Republican Party just wants to break America off with the real, as best as they understand it, do you feel me? The whole country is streetwise; they just don’t know it yet, do you know what I’m saying? And so, do you know what I mean, it’s up to me to hip America to what really be going down right now. Can I get a what WHAT?” [‘raises the roof’]

Apparently, Steele’s foray into music has renewed a rivalry between some prominent figures in rap music. ‘Mikey Steez’ enlisted the help of auto-tune king T-Pain in his song “D.T.B.G. (Death to Big Government),” a not-so-subtle proclamation of Republican opposition to government regulation of Corporate America.

Twitter? Don't even know 'er!

T-Pain tweeted his excitement about the project, saying, “IN DA LAB WIT M STEEZY. AND YOU KNOW I HAD TO GIT JIGGA MAN! SO WAT YOU BEEN TO DA WYTE HOUSE???”

The office of Jay-Z issued a brief response to the twitter message saying, “I usually don’t respond to foolishness, but “D.T.B.G.” is a pretty awkward play on “D.O.A.” There’s nothing even clever about it. Somebody should have told you and Mr. Steele. I’m letting you as a colleague in music. We have to do better.”

When T-Pain tweeted back asking Jay-Z how his twitter messages exceed 140 characters, Jay-Z replied, “LOL. I’m Jay-Z, remember?”

"That's right, Chad. If you want to be cool when you're pointing a pretend gun, make sure you hold it sideways, like this."

In the press release announcing “HNIC of da RNC,” Steele made clear that the project was not financed by the Republican National Committee, going on to say that “Not even my own people believe in the movement yet, and I’d appreciate it if you recognize the double meaning that statement has…because I’m a Republican…and I’m also black…see what I did there?” The money necessary to create the album came from Michael Steele’s own wallet, which he now calls his ‘baby duffel bag.’

Whether this album (featuring other titles such as “He’s a Bad Mama ‘Bama,” “No (Glass) Ceilings” and the satirical “Gimme Gimme Ya”) will reinvigorate the Republican Party remains to be seen. According to Steele, “If the people can’t catch the fever for the flavor of a better America after [“HNIC of da RNC”], then the whole Republican cause is lost.”

Someone should have told Mr. Steele that his entire career is a lost cause. To quote Mr. Carter, “We have to do better.”

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